More Story, Less Struggle

Apr 29, 2020 | Lifestyle

A quick what-now on why I abandoned the Struggle Bus in my professional biography, AKA the “About” page.

A little less than a week ago, I wrote the “About” page on this here blog. Then, I asked my FBers for feedback. I had just finished reading Cal Newport’s So Good They Can’t Ignore You, and I was motivated to employ what he calls automatic feedback—to strengthen and refine work. As he promoted, it was eye-opening. I spent the day distilling comments and editing the content until it was perfect. My post had grown cold and I packed away my laptop for the evening. Finished.

A few hours later, a new comment appeared. While it boasted of my storytelling and writing skills, the commenter added a suggestion (and in a nutshell):

Not necessary, but you could give more detail about your life…

Also added were these two words—challenges & overcome, included as a way to suggest that I detail what I have “been through.” The back-and-forth commenting ended and we left Facebook to audio chat.

This post is inspired by that conversation.

My “About” page (and a few other pages here) projects my professional self, but this writing space portrays my other self. A Gemini by birth—I can tell you that the Twin Game is real. Ultimately, the skill here is Writing; and I have a steady and popular relationship with Her whether it is professional, academic, or personality, so welcome.

My “About” page also captures one idea that seemingly lives forever-ever, and another reason why it speaks of story and not struggle. Besides, one-shot captures do not move as I do. I prefer to present my Journey more as a play with many acts and a host of scenes that do not all appear on one page. And so, my blogosphere (the non-static pages) resembles that ebb and flow—it evolves with me, as me; because in this multidimensional world, I refuse to be 1-D.

It is no secret that I a-beat to my own drum. I do what I like, how I like, most of the time. So, here’s the deal—I am bearing my truth. (Gosh, I dislike these two words together now.) Naturally, it includes thangs; but it won’t be a one-way ticket to board the Struggle Bus. I’d rather you witness My Evolution one step at a time in nugget-sized information, called posts, as I write my way through. This notion of selling yourself through challenges you have struggled to “overcome” sounds like some mess a non-Black person came up with to prove worthiness of opportunity or exploit pain.

No, thank you.

In my posts, I choose all of the other Me.

Me the Woman.

Me the Mama.

Me the Partner.

Me the Daughter.

Me the Friend.

Me the Homeschool Supporter.

Me the Sassy, Side-Eyein’ Sistah spillin’ my (sweet) Tea.

The commenter ended our dialogue telling me about a class where the instructor encouraged the opposite, and in my opinion, the impossible. This idea to sell the struggles but avoid exposing the mistakes. Then, I realized what I have disdained the most about this concept. The narrator mainly tells everything “bad” that has happened to them and usually fails to ‘fess up or own up (or both). Please do not visit this space expecting such antics. The growth is in the mistakes and in the ignorance-s. I want to explore them. That is the place from where a good story is told—not weighing folk down with all you’ve “been through.”

Tell your story.

Do your dance.

Hopefully, from off that stank-ass Struggle Bus.

~Love, Light, and Story


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